I Am Who I Love

My family continues to be the most important thing in my life. Their love has been my foundation. I have been thinking a lot about a quote that says, “you are who you love, not who loves you". Although I have never felt anything but unconditional love from my family, I seek comfort in the fact that I am a reflection of those things, places, and people I hold close. The following is a poem that grew out of this idea.

If I am who I love

I hope I am my mother’s empathy

Warm and inviting 

Crinkled around the corners from nights spent laughing around dinner tables

I hope I am my uncle’s loyalty 

A strong arm wrapped around my back in church pews

7AM mornings watching waves crash through the fog 

Quiet and steadfast 

I hope I am my father’s boldness

The kind that turns heads on the block 

Unapologetic

Its presence 

Known without needing to explain itself   

I hope I am my nana’s hands

Palms that are balm to the soul 

They smooth down my hair and rock me to sleep

A reassuring force amidst the chaos 

Pads of fingertips plush from hours spent feeding soft fabrics into the humming sewing machine

I hope I am my grandfather’s laugh 

Echoing and full 

Vibrations you hear long after the joke was first told 

The undercurrents of raspiness 

nod to a life well lived and full

Regret doesn’t live here

If I am who I love

I hope I am my family

Their empathy

Their boldness 

Their loyalty

I hope 

I am a steady hand

a full echoing laugh

A refuge for comfort

To be a product of them

The people who rock me to sleep

Hold me in the darkness

Give comfort in the folds of their eyelids

Is my greatest gift

How could I ever see myself as less than a miracle 

When 

I am who I love

from my previous blog posted on 02.04.21